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DO YOU NEED TO HAVE A NECESSARY ENDING?

One of my favorite days of the year is the first Friday of May. For nearly 15 years this has been the date for one of my favorite leadership training events, Leadercast. Each year I come away inspired with a notebook full of new insights to help me grow and successfully overcome the challenges that leaders face.


Make sure you take part in this event! Join leaders from all around the globe May 4, 2018. You will learn at the feet of leaders who are known around the world for their accomplishments and leadership abilities.


Be a part of an extraordinary event that will make you an even better leader. Leadercast Live is the largest, one-day leadership event on the planet, with more than 100,000 current visionaries and future world-changers attending each year.


This year, attendees will gather at more than 700 locations in 20 countries to be inspired to develop their leadership skills and master the fine art of achieving great things.


This one-of-a-kind event will be broadcast live from Atlanta and simulcast into communities across the globe. For me details and to register check out their site: Leadercast


In the coming days I will share some of my favorite notes from past events. Here is a sample from Dr. Henry Cloud’s 2013 talk.



Dr. Henry Cloud


Best-selling author and leadership consultant


  • If you keep telling yourself you are going to do something and you keep not doing over and over you are not going to do it. If this is the case then you then need to enlist some outside help to get it done.


#1 Boundary: A Necessary Ending: This is when the worse thing a person can have in a situation is hope.


  • There are seasons that have passed and a leader must have courage to step up and have a Necessary Ending to a situation, relationship, business etc.,


The Pruning Process: Gardening Experts prune roses in 3 different context:


1) Rose produces too much, you keep best, they need the resources of the vine, you then prune the rest. You sacrifice the good for the best.


2) You realize that some are sick and won’t get well and therefore must be pruned.


3) You realize that some are dead and are in way and need to be gotten rid of, so you prune them.


Applications Of Pruning To Your Business or Organization


1) You Have Too Much: The leader must get rid of those that are not the best.


Example: Cloud’s friend bought company of $25M that he has now grown to $1B company. How? When he bought the company he pruned 80% of the company even thought it was all making a profit. He fought through a lot of opposition and criticism to do this process of pruning. He knew that the life of company was in that best 20% of company. The rest of the company was draining resources and focus away from the 20% of the company that would be the future life of the company. Even though it was all profitable he told the team to shed the other 80% and only keep the 20%. From this 20% he grew the company to $1B company it is now. He went thru lots of conflict to enact this but knew it was the best long-term decision.


Don’t sacrifice attaining the best by settling for keeping hold of the good.


2) You Have Sick Branches: The leader must recognize that some branches are not going to get well.


“We value integrity, we follow clarity.”

The reason we follow clarity over integrity is because clarity is magnetic. Clarity wins the day every single time.


  • As a leader you need to realize that something you are attached to will not change. It could be a person, business unit, product, market etc.,
  • You must realize that its season has passed, it is not going to get well, it takes leadership to make a Necessary Ending
  • Example: What’s a phone book? 12-year-old daughter asked him this question. He recently met a person who is still in phone book business. Sometimes you are holding onto to things whose time has passed.
  • Are you hanging onto something whose season has passed?
  • As a leader you have to take the hard step to pull plug>


Example: Why did it take GM being forced by bankruptcy judge to get them to shut down Pontiac who had not been profitable in years?


Emotional attachment can cause us to hang on to things whose season has passed.


  • Leaders must have the courage to exercise Necessary Endings to those things whose seasons have passed, who are sick and will not get better.
  • Leaders must have discernment to make these tough decisions.


Example: Cloud recounts story of an Exec firing his son. He puts on the boss hat to fire his own son for bad behaviors on the job that he could no longer tolerate. He then puts on Dad hat afterwards to console his son about losing his job. This type of activity is the best for all involved with the Necessary Ending.


3) Dead Things:If it is dead you must remove it.


Example: Hoarders keep things they haven’t used it in 20 yrs because I might need it someday. Leaders often have a hoarder pattern in them with their businesses. Even though some part of the business is dead they emotionally hold on to the past, hold onto what used to be.


  • Leader’s Fear that they “Need To Be Source For Everything”. This is a deep sickness in life where experiences in life have taught them they have to be the source for everything. This results in them trying to hoard and hang on to things because of fear.
  • Leaders must have a funeral and let things go and move into the future, you must take team into the future arm in arm and leave the past behind.
  • You must determine not to settle for what is good but instead move ahead for what is best for you, your team and your organization.


You must determine what is good and not the best, what is sick and what is dead and have a Necessary Ending for these!


#2 Boundary: Focused Attention


  • It is a scientifically proven fact that your brain can only focus on one thing at a time.


Great leaders lead in a way that their people can actually follow them!


  • Why do some leaders get results and others don’t? Because they lead in ways team members can follow them.


Your Brain has to do 3 things:


1) Attend to what is relevant stimuli


2) Inhibit everything else, shut rest out


3) Create a working memory


  • Great leaders do these 3 things in a multiple ways.


Example: Steve Jobs comes back to Apple and there are 30 versions of Mac, he cuts it down to 4 types of computers


Find what is relevant and keep in front of them all the time and you will lead people well.


If everything is important nothing is important!


  • Your desire will not do when it comes to reaching goals. The key to your success is in what gets prioritized. It is what is put in front of people over and over.


Brains run on 3 things:


1)Oxygen


2) Glucose


3) Relationships


  • You have to have Relationships for your brains to work properly.


2 Questions You Must Ask:


1. What’s it like for you?

2.What’s it like for your clients?

Example: He led a company on Listening tour at 20 top markets during the economic downturn in order to try to help company get back on track and work through the down turn in the economy. As a result of this tour the CEO was bombarded with emails thanking him for taking time to talk to them about what is going on in their worlds. The personal interaction of this exercise was more important than any of the other solutions and strategies that resulted. The engagement of relationship was a game changer for this organization.


Power of The Buddy System


  • When things happen in a bad market the brain changes, things begin to shut down.
  • Stress level dropped in half for monkeys under stress when buddy was in the cage with them during the drawing of the blood.
  • Having buddy to go thru stress will help you cope in a good way, stress level will go down.
  • Having a Buddy System will help team members handle stressful situations in an effective manner.


  • Remember that opportunities will become threats when proper boundaries are not set.
  • Ask yourself: Where am I being a hoarder my business, personal life, as a leader?
  • What products, meetings, and/or relationships in my organization need to have a Necessary Ending?

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